The Stories You Cannot Tell

I feel pretty bad about this and I need to get it out.

My and my two girlfriends used to go door to door with clipboards and sponsor sign-up sheets, collecting money for a wide variety of charities that never saw a dime. We were really funding out nights out. We’d knock on door and tell people were looking for sponsors for a walk-a-thon for Multiple Scelrosis, doing fundraising for the Cancer society and stuff like that. We’d head out on Wednesday and Thursday ngihts around dinner time when we knew everyone was home. We would dress up all cute and innocent, collecting hundreds of dollars for liquor and E and cab fare and pretty much anything we wanted. Usually we would collect at least $200 and then stop and go home to get ready for the club. We did this for two years!

Yes I feel bad but I guess Karma got back on us. One of the girls I used to go with(we haven’t been friends for over 14 years now) just found out she has Cancer. Now we can’t stop thinking that this is punishement for us doing what we did.
My problem is, when do I get punished for this?

I was molested when I was 3 by a family friend and my mom prayed for me but told me to stay away from men, even my father. I did not let a man touch me in anyway until I was 10.

When I was 10 my uncle hugged me and rubbed my back because I couldn’t sleep and I bawled not because I didnt like it, but because I did.so much

I cut myself when I was 10 to deal with my molestation and finally got therapy.

When I was 15 I was raped by a minister and he tried to kill me and he raped me with a knife, my vagina is all scars and sex hurts.

I am pregnant at 22 from unwanted sex with an ex, I am sure not sure if its defined as rape.

I married him recently and I am getting it annulled or getting divorced ASAP I dont love him that way. All behind my famalies back. My family controls my life.

I want to be loved by a man, but I have never fully felt it.

I find more satisfaction from an online relationship partially because they can’t touch me or try to have sex with me, but mostly because I can show them anything I want and tease them and masterbate for them, and they can’t touch me and I am in complete control.

I want to be loved and I want to make love but I can’t find that person that will understand me and my past and be patient.

I have never had sex where I wanted it.

I cry myself to sleep alot because I feel unloveable.

My and my room mates were pissed that we got kicked out of our old place so we broke back in and opened up the fire department standpipe and flooded the building at around 3 in the morning. We heard that 8 floors were flooded and the fire and police ordered the bldg evacuated. Thousands of dollars damage.

Fuckers shouldn’t have kicked us out!

I opened my second tire store after having much success at my first. The first few months were slow and after spending thousands on advertising, I came up with a wicked idea to increase sales.

I went to the hardware store and bought a box of screws. I then drove around the blocks surrounding my business, throwing screws on the ground. That day and for 3 days after I had quite a few new customers coming in with screws in their tires. I was also able to sell some new tires and rims and shocks and stuff. It was a great idea I think. What I’d really like to do is find those things they use in police spike strips. Those would work great I think!

I never told a single soul. I had been checking this girl out at school. She was quite attractive in a girl-next-door meets goth-geek-queen if that makes any sort of sense. One night I was at the skatepark with some buddies when her and some of her friends came by. Long story short her friends knew my friend so they stayed and skated. Turns out the girl I was checking could skate. I gave her my board to use and watched as she did her thing. I didn’t think she was all that but some of my buddies were giving her respect but I figured it was only because she was hot. When she popped up out of the bowl beside me the guys were giving her props. I laughed and she asked why I was laughing and she looked pissed. I told her that I didn’t really think she had much skills. Next thing I know she’s on me with 5-8 punches to the face. She’s totally going off and before I could even defend myself and before my buddies could grab her she had already broke my nose, chipped a tooth and blackened both eyes. To this day I have no idea why she freaked out on me. Because of her I changed schools and I dont even ride anymore.
FUCKING BITCH! I HOPE YOU DIE IN A HORRIBLE WAY!

I watched from the hallway as my sister smothered her daughter two weeks ago. The baby was born with Down syndrome and my sister was already having a rough go of it being a single mother and all. I guess the baby is better off but I don’t know what I am supposed to do? She called the police and said that the baby died in the night. Child services and the police came and they said that it must have been sids. My sis is a good actor so she has everyone convinced but not me. What am I supposed to do now? Just go on living like everything is fine when I am the only one in my family that knows the truth? I think I might make an anonymous call to the police and tell them the whole truth.